Planning a wedding often involves conversations about finances, family, and the future. Some decisions are straightforward, while others bring up different expectations that you and your partner may not have discussed in detail.
Premarital counseling gives couples an opportunity to explore these topics before marriage, understand their communication patterns, and prepare for changes in their relationship.
At Resolve Counseling Group in Murfreesboro, we offer couples therapy grounded in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and many of our clinicians use Prepare-Enrich as a guide for premarital counseling. This guide explains what premarital counseling typically involves, the questions worth discussing before marriage, and what to consider when choosing a counselor.
Key Takeaways
Premarital counseling helps engaged couples discuss expectations, relationship patterns, and future plans before marriage.
Common topics include finances, communication, intimacy, family boundaries, parenting, and shared values.
The number of sessions depends on the counselor's approach, the topics involved, and the couple's goals.
Couples preparing for a first marriage, remarriage, or blended family may have different concerns to explore.
Resolve offers a free 15-minute consultation to discuss its couples counseling services and whether they suit your needs.
What Is Premarital Counseling?
Premarital counseling is a form of couples counseling that helps partners explore their relationship before marriage. A qualified counselor guides conversations about communication, conflict, expectations, shared values, and future responsibilities. Sessions may also address existing concerns or differences that partners want to understand before making a long-term commitment.
A licensed mental health professional with appropriate couples training may provide this type of counseling. Some providers offer a structured premarital program, while others tailor sessions to the couple's specific circumstances.
At Resolve, our couples therapy services draw on Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), which helps partners understand recurring interaction patterns and the emotions involved.
What Happens in Premarital Counseling?
The structure varies by clinician, but premarital counseling commonly involves assessment, communication work, and discussions about future plans.
A typical process may include four stages:
Initial assessment. The counselor asks about your relationship history, current strengths, concerns, and reasons for seeking counseling.
Communication and conflict patterns. You explore how disagreements develop, how each partner responds, and what helps you work through difficult conversations.
Expectations and practical decisions. Sessions address important areas of married life, including financial responsibilities, family relationships, intimacy, and future goals.
Planning ahead. You discuss how to approach potential challenges, make decisions together, and apply what you've learned.
Your counselor may spend more time on certain areas depending on your needs. For example, a couple who already shares finances and household responsibilities may want to focus on family boundaries or long-term plans.
Our guide on what to expect in your first couples therapy session explains how an initial couples counseling appointment generally works.
Will You Complete Relationship Assessments or Homework?
Some premarital counselors use questionnaires or relationship assessments to identify strengths, differences, and areas that deserve further discussion.
These tools may ask about communication, expectations, conflict resolution, or satisfaction with different aspects of the relationship. Your counselor can use the responses to guide conversations during appointments.
You may also be encouraged to complete activities between sessions, such as discussing a shared goal, reflecting on a disagreement, or practicing a communication strategy.
Assessments and homework vary by provider. Ask about the counselor's approach before beginning, particularly if you're interested in a structured premarital program.
Topics Premarital Counseling Often Covers
Premarital counseling can help couples explore expectations that may affect everyday married life.
Common discussion topics include:
Money: Spending habits, saving, debt, major purchases, and financial responsibilities.
Family and boundaries: Relationships with in-laws, extended family involvement, and decisions about privacy.
Intimacy: Expectations surrounding physical affection, sexual intimacy, and emotional connection.
Household roles: How you'll divide responsibilities, manage daily routines, and support each other.
Children and parenting: Whether you want children, when you might start a family, and your parenting values.
Faith and values: Religious beliefs, cultural traditions, personal priorities, and how they influence decisions.
Communication and conflict: How you express concerns, respond to disagreement, and reconnect after arguments.
Discussing these areas helps partners understand where their expectations align and where they may need further conversations.
10 Questions to Talk About Before You Marry
These questions can help you explore how your expectations may play out in everyday situations.
You can discuss them together before counseling or use them as conversation starters during your appointments.
How will we make decisions about saving, spending, debt, and major purchases when our financial priorities differ?
How will we divide household responsibilities, especially when one of us has a demanding schedule or needs additional support?
Do we want children, and how would we approach differences in timing, parenting values, or family planning?
How will we handle situations when our families' expectations conflict with decisions we've made together?
What helps each of us feel emotionally supported, and how can we communicate those needs during stressful periods?
What does each of us need during a disagreement, and how can we reconnect after an argument?
How will we talk about differences in our expectations for intimacy, affection, and time together?
How will we approach career opportunities, relocation, or other major changes that affect both partners?
What role will faith, cultural traditions, and personal values play in our marriage and future family life?
What concerns do we have about marriage, and how can we discuss them openly before making our commitment?
You may discover areas where you've made different assumptions or haven't considered a particular situation.
You don't need immediate answers to every question. The conversations can help you identify which topics deserve more attention.
Who Benefits From Premarital Counseling?
Premarital counseling may be useful for couples with different experiences, expectations, and family circumstances.
For example:
Couples who already live together may want to discuss how their financial, family, or long-term commitments could change after marriage.
Couples preparing for a second marriage may have experiences from previous relationships that influence their expectations, concerns, or priorities.
Blended families may need to discuss parenting roles, relationships with children, and responsibilities involving former partners.
Couples from different cultural or religious backgrounds may want to explore traditions, family expectations, and shared values.
Partners can also seek counseling when they're having difficulty discussing an important decision or want to better understand recurring relationship patterns.
For more information about the potential benefits and limitations of treatment, read our guide on whether couples therapy works.
How Many Sessions Do You Need and What Does It Cost?
The number of premarital counseling sessions depends on the counselor's program, the issues you want to discuss, and your goals.
Some programs follow a structured series of appointments, while others allow couples to explore particular concerns over a shorter or longer period.
Session fees also vary by provider, clinician qualifications, and appointment length.
At Resolve, our general counseling fees are listed by clinician level on our Rates & FAQ page. Standard appointments are 50 minutes, and longer couples sessions may be available when appropriate.
You can also read our guide on couples therapy costs in Murfreesboro for information about budgeting for appointments.
If you're seeking premarital counseling specifically, ask whether the provider offers a dedicated program and how its fees and session requirements differ from general couples counseling.
Tennessee also provides a marriage-license fee exemption for couples who complete an eligible premarital preparation course. The requirements are explained in the FAQs below.
How to Choose a Premarital Counselor in Murfreesboro
Before booking, check the counselor's qualifications, experience with engaged couples, availability, and approach.
Consider these questions:
Licensing: Is the counselor appropriately licensed or otherwise qualified to provide the service? You can verify Tennessee healthcare professional credentials through the Tennessee Department of Health license lookup.
Couples training: What training or experience do they have working with couples and relationship concerns?
Counseling approach: Do they use a structured premarital program, individualized sessions, or a combination of methods?
Assessments: Will you complete questionnaires or exercises before or between appointments?
Availability: Can the appointments fit into your schedule before the wedding?
Course requirements: If you're seeking Tennessee's marriage-license fee exemption, does the provider offer a qualifying course and the required certificate?
It may also help to discuss how the counselor incorporates your personal values, cultural background, or religious beliefs into the process.
Resolve Counseling Group aims to respect different backgrounds and perspectives, including spiritual and religious beliefs.
We offer a free 15-minute consultation where you can ask about our couples counseling approach, clinician availability, and whether our services fit what you're looking for.
Contact our team to arrange a consultation.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is Premarital Counseling Worth It?
Premarital counseling can help couples understand communication patterns, discuss expectations, and develop ways to approach disagreements before marriage.
Its usefulness depends on your goals, participation, and the counselor's approach. Attending doesn't guarantee a particular relationship outcome.
Can We Do Premarital Counseling Online?
Premarital counseling can be provided online when offered by an appropriately qualified clinician.
Resolve offers online counseling throughout Tennessee, but availability for premarital-specific services should be confirmed before booking.
Both partners should have a private setting and reliable internet connection so they can participate comfortably.
When Should We Start Premarital Counseling?
Starting several months before your wedding may provide time for appointments, reflection, and conversations between sessions.
The ideal timeline depends on your goals, the counselor's availability, and whether you're completing a structured program.
If you need a qualifying premarital preparation course for Tennessee's marriage-license fee exemption, check the specific course and documentation requirements before scheduling.
Do We Need to Be Religious to Attend Premarital Counseling?
No. Premarital counseling can be secular, faith-based, or informed by the couple's personal beliefs and values.
Clinical counseling doesn't inherently require religious participation.
You can ask a prospective counselor how they approach religious, cultural, or personal differences during sessions.
What if We Discover Major Disagreements During Counseling?
Discovering differences before marriage gives you an opportunity to understand each other's perspectives and discuss the implications of those differences.
A counselor can help you communicate concerns, explore possible compromises, and consider important decisions.
Some disagreements may require ongoing conversations, and not every difference will have a simple resolution.
How Should We Prepare for Premarital Counseling?
Each partner can reflect on their expectations, personal goals, and any concerns they'd like to discuss.
Consider topics such as finances, family boundaries, communication, and future plans.
You can bring questions to your appointments without rehearsing answers or trying to agree on everything beforehand.
Can Premarital Counseling Reduce Tennessee's Marriage License Fee?
Yes. Tennessee provides a $60 marriage-license fee exemption for eligible couples who complete a qualifying premarital preparation course lasting at least four hours.
The course must be completed within one year before applying for the marriage license. Both applicants must submit the required certificate of completion to the county clerk.
Ordinary premarital counseling doesn't automatically qualify. The course and provider must meet the applicable requirements.
Before registering, confirm the requirements with your county clerk and ask the course provider whether they issue the qualifying certificate.
You can review the details through the University of Tennessee's County Technical Assistance Service.
Start Your Marriage With Support
Resolve Counseling Group provides couples therapy for partners who want to better understand their relationship, address communication difficulties, and work through concerns together.
We welcome couples from Murfreesboro, Smyrna, and La Vergne, with online counseling options throughout Tennessee.
Our free 15-minute consultation gives you an opportunity to discuss your goals, ask about available clinicians, and find out whether our couples counseling services meet your needs.
Book your free consultation or call 615.900.4008.
